Funerals, Interments, Scattering Ashes and Memorials

A funeral, though sad, is nevertheless a celebration of life. 

Whether a burial, cremation, or scattering of ashes, the main purpose of a funeral or memorial service is for a life to be recognised, it also serves as an occasion as an acknowledgement that a precious life has ended.

“It’s hard to turn the page when you know someone won’t
be in the next chapter, but the story must go on.”

My Role

I am here to guide and support you  in creating the best possible farewell to your loved on.    As an independent celebrant I am able to give you the choices that you seek and am not bound by religion, or belief systems. The loss of someone special is a turbulent, confusing time.  A time when you feel things are not in your control and that making decisions is just too much. I will assist you in planning a service that is right for you whether it is non-religious, semi-religious, or a spiritual ceremony. We will probably meet via Zoom, Facetime or whichever method you choose to discuss the type of funeral service you would like for your loved one. We will take our time

By listening to you  I can do my very best to ensure that all the best memories and wonderful things that made your loved one who they were are included. You will be treated with care, consideration, compassion and kindness.  This is your service and it should be done in the way that you want. Together we will look at their life.  I will take great care to reflect and sensitively respect the uniqueness, beliefs, and wishes of your loved one.  I am there to honour their life in the best way possible, with heart and dedication.

By talking with you  I can discover as much about their life as possible including achievements, music, hobbies, foibles, beliefs, values, their humour and stories.  Memories will come back as we speak so don’t worry about writing anything down beforehand unless you wish to.  Memories will come back as we speak so don’t worry about writing anything down.

Here are a few things you can think about before we talk:

What are the highlights of their life story? Draw on memories of their life, including having children or scoring a winning goal – anything that made them truly happy. 

Ask siblings, friends and family about times they shared and times they would have been proud of.

I encourage and welcome friends and family to participate in this ceremony if that is your wish, giving you that added support.  Perhaps someone may like to read a poem or a small passage of writing.  Maybe help with the choice of music.  You will find examples of readings and poems to help you in the resources section.

I will then create a bespoke funeral ceremony which truly reflects the life of your loved one.   Once we have spoken, I will write the script of the order of service, the eulogy, offer suggestions of poems or readings, help you with the selection of any music.  I will check the timings of each pat of the service to make sure we respect the allotted time given by the Chapel.  Once the eulogy is written I will ask you to check the details and approve them a few days before the funeral.   

We can also look at other ideas that you may not have thought of to make your ceremony even more personal,  such as carrying or assisting in carrying the coffin  into the Ceremony, lighting candles,  a photo board, singing or decorating the space – all little touches to make it just that bit more special.  I will liaise with the Funeral Directors to ensure they have all the information they need which includes the order of service and choices of music.

On The Day

I will meet the Funeral Directors and Chapel attendants in good time and greet you and your supporters, to officiate the ceremony which will include reading the eulogy.  I will introduce myself to any appointed readers or speakers and show them where they will stand. After the funeral I will present you with a presentation copy of your script to keep and remain with you until you are ready to leave.  

I will do everything to make sure that your wishes are fulfilled in all the ways that you have asked and planned for.

My commitment to you  is complete professionalism, excellent presentation, discretion and you and your family will be accorded total confidentiality.  All confidential notes and private family details will be disposed of appropriately afterwards.

Anniversaries

“Retrospection is what causes fond memories” 

Time does pass and with that passing, hopefully, a greater sense of peace. The feelings of loss never go but in that space following on from the funeral you may wish to come back together with some family and friends and remember your loved one in a different  and happier setting than a crematorium or churchyard. It may be a year later or several years later.

If you still have the ashes you may wish to  find a beautiful, much loved place where you scatter them or part of them, and take time to share stories.  A walk in a woodland or by the sea, followed by a short memorial and then a picnic or meal.

We can create a special ceremony together that places the memories in a place of beauty and joy. All things are possible, but whatever you seeking you choose to do we can imbue new feelings into the subsequent grieving process.  

Images of stone by Jacqueline Smith and flowers by Jill Wellington